Why Won't My Child Listen

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The question that weighs on parents' minds at various stages in parenthood is, “why won’t my children listen?” There will come a time when your child simply refuses to do what you’re requesting of them. They will pitch a fit, argue, debate, or try to negotiate their way out of doing the task you’ve told them to complete.

Well, one thing we can tell you is that this is normal. Children will test boundaries and their parents patients at various points throughout childhood. Your child wants to see where your weaknesses are plus they’re trying to be independent free thinkers.

Your child would rather continue doing whatever activity they’re doing than stop and do something for you. This selfish so-to-speak behavior is part of the natural development of children. How you respond to this scenario is what helps guide your child to be less selfish, more adaptable, and obedient in the future with such demands.


Other Reasons Children Don’t Listen

There are other reasons your child doesn’t listen to you. Your instruction may be too long. The words you used to instruct your child to do this task may be misleading. Oftentimes parents say too much in their sentence to request a child complete a task. Other times, parents will word the demand in the form of a question.

The key to making sure your children listen more often than not is to work on how you phrase the demand. You’ll need to be clear and concise with the wording. If your child is younger or suffers from an attention disorder, they’ll need short instructions as they’re only hearing the first five seconds.

There are some steps you can take to get your children to listen nearly every single time. Below you’ll find our tips to help you get your child to listen more often.

 

Consider Timing

Some parents walk into the room and tell their children to immediately stop what they’re doing to complete another task for the parent. Instead of demanding the task be completed right away, make a list of tasks your child must complete during the day. This list could be a chore list or just a schedule of what’s expected at what time throughout the day. If you don’t have a set schedule, then consider asking your child to do something as soon as they’re done with their activity.

Ask Them to Repeat

One of the best ways to confirm if your child heard what you requested is to ask them to repeat what you said. This is part of a technique that’s referred to as active listening. Repeating what someone said to you is an excellent way to help your child develop strong listening skills.

Consider a Choice

Lastly, consider offering your younger child a choice. You want your child to get their pajamas on but they’re adamant that this isn’t what they want to do right now. Instead of demanding the pajamas be put on, ask them if they want to wear the green or blue pajamas. This makes your child feel more included and chances are they’ll just choose which pajamas to wear and put them on.

Using these tips to reframe your perspective and approach to getting children to complete necessary tasks will create a whole new environment. Your children will start to listen to your requests more often, and you’ll feel like you’re doing something right with parenting.


Visit our Parent Advisor and The Buzz Blogs to learn more about related topics and parenting tips. You are welcome to join our private Parent Advisor Facebook group. It’s a growing community of parents and preschool teachers where you can learn and share more parenting tips.


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